"They're very careful"

From Wireless Flash News, Inc.:

Fireworks Not A Problem For Nudists

OSHKOSH, Wis. (Wireless Flash) – Not even a lit sparkler can get nudists to put their pants on for Nude Recreation Week, which starts July 4.

That’s according to Nicky Hoffman, spokeswoman for the Wisconsin-based Naturist Society. She says nudists have no qualms about lighting fireworks while exposing their star-spangled fannies.

As Hoffman explains, “They’re very careful.”

During Nude Recreation Week, hundreds of thousands of nudists will be promoting all sorts of recreational activities that can be done in the buff, including sunbathing and volleyball.

Hoffman says nudists need to take very little precaution for most activities, except for a little sunscreen.

There is one activity that requires some covering up: Frying bacon. In that case, Hoffman recommends nudists “wear an apron.”

Now it all makes sense

According to an Iranian parliamentarian, Condoleezza Rice is unhappy with Iran because she was rejected by an Iranian boyfriend in college. According to the AFP, a "young man from Qazvin" broke her heart while they were students. The best part is the description of Qazvin as a town "hitherto not known for playing a major role in Iran-US relations." That was hysterical to me, but then that's just me.

Maybe the lack of a chainsaw was suspicious...

Not that this is really such a big thing, but recently I had a print job delayed because the paper was held up by U.S. Customs at the Canadian border for a few days. Paper in and of itself is not dangerous, aside from the occasional sliced finger. Generally, this is not life-threatening. However, when a guy crosses the Canadian border into the United States carrying a blood-flecked chainsaw and a backpack full of weapons, you might think he poses a threat. On top of that, the guy said that he was a "U.S. Marine assassin." (Last I heard, they didn't really advertise that sort of thing, but that's another issue.) The paper I needed was unarmed, as far as I know, yet was detained considerably longer than chainsaw boy. A government has its priorities, I guess...

Threatening? Very.

Threatening? Not so much. Unless they landed on you, that is.

.000025 ounces lighter

Yesterday I got a haircut for the first time in just over two months. I had Bozo the Clown head, or what I actually prefer to call Ed Ed the Anvil Head (when both sides can be made into points, looking like the aforementioned forge implement). Now I have pseudo-military hair (enough so that I have been asked at times if I'm actually in the service).

The odd thing is that, on the whole, I hate having my head touched, but I absolutely love getting my hair cut. I told this to my hair cutter, and he said that generally people really, really like the hairwash part the best. I hate it. It can't be over soon enough for me. Once quick wash and rinse and I'm ready to sit up again. I have no need for the second wash and the inevitable conditioner, and I can't wait to get out of that neck-holder sink. Get the clippers going, though, and I'm a very happy man. I don't understand it, and I don't expect any of you to understand it either. (Oh, and although you may infer from the first paragraph that my name is Ed, it isn't.)

Print rules. The Web drools.

My name is Sasquatch, and I am a graphic designer. ("Hello, Sasquatch.")

Over my long and storied career, I have designed everything from funeral cards to academic publications to art exhibit collateral materials to websites for a very large international non-governmental organization. My work has been seen in all parts of the world, whether the viewers knew it was mine or not. Today, though, I must confess that I hate the Web. I enjoy using it (e.g., this blog), but I hate creating websites. I hate creating websites because they're never truly finished. There's always something that can be tweaked just this teensy bit, or moved four pixels to the left. However, I love working with print. When a book's printed, that's pretty much it. There may be subsequent editions, but at least it will be a while before I'll have to worry about it. I can read an article on the subway without worrying about my Palm/Blackberry/laptop batteries running down. I can sometimes feel the richness of the paper stock and the subtle texture of the ink on the page. I can read a book in the bathtub without the fear of electrocuting myself.

I have always preferred books—real books—to eBooks or books on tape (or CD now, I guess). So I was simultaneously happified (my word) and disappointed to read this Sunday's New York Times editorial on the decline of book purchases and literary reading in the United States. The weird thing is that in terms of spending, books beat out movies, CDs, video games, and DVDs, yet the figures show book purchases declining 3 percent over the last three years. I don't really have much of a point after this bit. I just know that it's a lot of fun to go to a used bookstore and meander through the aisles. The Web will never do it for me in the same way. Sorry, Tim Berners-Lee.

Paintball ringworm

As soon as this one hit my forearm today, I told myself it was going to leave a mark. And it did:


Dr. McCoy, keep your girlfriend in line!!!